Thursday, October 13, 2016

God Favors Some More Than Others

Miriam Webster Dictionary defines favor as a kind or helpful actthat you do for someone; approval, support, or popularity. The preference for one person, group, etc., over another. Favor is confusing because we know that God 'loves' the whole world. His love doesn't change from person to person, and yet scripture reveals that God does view, treat, and even prefer some people over others. The scriptures show that He showed preference to Noah and His family, to Abraham and Sarah, and for Israel. He shows favor to Able over Cain, to Jacob over Esau, to believers over unbelievers. God favors the poor, the broken, the weak, the humble. Why is this? How can we view God showing favor or preference for some people over others without taking away from the fact that He loves everyone?
Imagine a husband and wife that are fully and completely alive! They are full of compassion and good-will. They love life, are creative, fun, and spontaneous. They love adventure and love to learn new things. They aren't full of themselves, don't need to prove anything, and don't care for recognition. They live, learn, and love because that is who they are and that's what life is about. They are fully present with those around them, genuinely care about others, and go out of their way to show their love. They aren't just different than others in that they have separate interests, they are different because they aren't motivated by insecurity or the desire to prove themselves. They are humble, vulnerable, and generous. They are the kind of people everyone wants to be around but are slightly intimidated by at the same time. They live in the present moment, without anxiety, stress, or depression. They are full, they are good, they are love.

Now imagine that this amazing couple has 2 children. One of them doesn't have anything in common with their parents. Not in the sense that they like different things, but that they were motivated and live for different reasons. This child of theirs is driven by the desire to prove themselves to the world, they don't enjoy activity for it's own sake, but only in as much they can gain status and prestige in them. They hearts arn't like their parents, they learned to put others down, to compare, and to undervalue those around them. Again it isn't so much that they are just 'different', but that they opposing the life of their parents. Where dad encourages, they put down, where mom serves with joy, they do so with grumbling. Where dad is selfless they are selfish, where mom is free, they are in bondage. This child's character, drive, and identity are sourced in completely opposite ways than their parents. If the child feels good when others fail, while their parents feel compassion, they will not be able to share in life. If their child takes advantage of others instead of helping them, how can the parents rejoice in their 'success'?

In this scenario, the parents would still love their son or daughter, but they wouldn't
be able to fully engage with them in life. The conversations they have with one another cannot be wholesome or agreeable. They can't delight in their child's decisions and attitudes because they are destructive and selfish. Their love would be aimed at the child's redemption and freedom. They would want their son or daughter to know the love they have for them so they could stop striving, stop feeling shame, and stop using other people to gain personal status. There would be a dissonance in their relationship, a place where the parents can't fully delight in their child even though they love them. This is contrary to our culture that pushes for a full approval and acceptance of all behaviors, mentalities, belief systems, and lifestyles.
Their 2nd child on the other hand has learned to be like Mom and Dad. They love to learn, to discover, and to adventure. They have learned to be humble, that it is ok to make mistakes, and that their identity isn't found in what others think of them. This child has some different interests than their parents, but their heart is in the same place. The parents have a joy and relational freedom with this child that they don't have with the first. They can relate on the same level, share in joy, sorrow, and compassion in the same ways. They love their children equally, but because their second child has learned to be like them, to be more free, they are able to delight and support them in their decisions and in who they are.
"Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.”-John 14:21

Jesus isn't saying that God only loves some people. He is pointing to God's favor, His esteem, His delight. If I live my life in a place of comparison, striving to become important, and put others down in order to look more superior, God will not delight in my attitude or behavior. If I relate to God, giving thanks, and praying to Him from a place of inadequacy, pride, or shame, He will not affirm my choices or the place that my heart is in. The more I become like God, the more free I become, the more God is able to 'approve' of who I am. Our relationship with God changes, How He can interact with us, speak to us, and move in us changes as we become more like Him! His favor towards us begins to affect our hearts, minds, and lives!

This has been a confusing place for me in my relationships. Friends or family members will come to share their life with me, a story, a struggle, or a success. When they engage with me they are wanting my 'approval', recognition, or praise. I'm sure you've been there! If a friend comes to me because they are pumped they got to sleep with their girlfriend, that is not something I am going to be able to delight in with them, because I don't see that as a good thing. If they are raving about the victory they had in a sporting event, and that raving is rooted in the pride they feel in being 'better' than everyone else, I will not be able to fully rejoice with them. We are on different pages, we see things differently, and so we are not able to engage together fully. The friends I am closest to, the ones I am able to engage with freely, are those that are like me. Not that they necessarily like doing the same things I do, but that we share the same values, the same priorities, the same desire for life.

Scripture reveals that God is like this too. We aren't going to have the same relationship with God when we aren't 'like Him'. How can God deny Himself by becoming who He isn't? God cannot approve or delight in things He knows are destructive and damaging. He will not approve of our choices because He loves us, rather His love for us will call us up into what is good and true. His love in the face of our sin, stubbornness, or blindness will be purposed towards setting us free and opening our eyes to the truth. When we are aligned with God in our hearts and actions, His love for us will be one of joyful participation, of affirmation, joy, and delight. God loves us all equally, but His favor and delight rests on some more than others.

Miriam Webster Dictionary defines favor as a kind or helpful act that you do for someone; approval, support, or popularity. The preference for one person, group, etc., over another.

Favor is confusing because we know that God 'loves' the whole world. His love doesn't change from person to person, and yet scripture reveals that God does view, treat, and even prefer some people over others. The scriptures show that He showed preference to Noah and His family, to Abraham and Sarah, and for Israel. He shows favor to Able over Cain, to Jacob over Esau, to believers over unbelievers. God favors the poor, the broken, the weak, the humble. Why is this? How can we view God showing favor or preference for some people over others without taking away from the fact that He loves everyone?
Imagine a husband and wife that are fully and completely alive! They are full of compassion and good-will. They love life, are creative, fun, and spontaneous. They love adventure and love to learn new things. They aren't full of themselves, don't need to prove anything, and don't care for recognition. They live, learn, and love because that is who they are and that's what life is about. They are fully present with those around them, genuinely care about others, and go out of their way to show their love. They aren't just different than others in that they have separate interests, they are different because they aren't motivated by insecurity or the desire to prove themselves. They are humble, vulnerable, and generous. They are the kind of people everyone wants to be around but are slightly intimidated by at the same time. They live in the present moment, without anxiety, stress, or depression. They are full, they are good, they are love.
Now imagine that this amazing couple has 2 children. One of them doesn't have anything in common with their parents. Not in the sense that they like different things, but that they were motivated and live for different reasons. This child of theirs is driven by the desire to prove themselves to the world, they don't enjoy activity for it's own sake, but only in as much they can gain status and prestige in them. They hearts arn't like their parents, they learned to put others down, to compare, and to undervalue those around them. Again it isn't so much that they are just 'different', but that they opposing the life of their parents. Where dad encourages, they put down, where mom serves with joy, they do so with grumbling. Where dad is selfless they are selfish, where mom is free, they are in bondage. This child's character, drive, and identity are sourced in completely opposite ways than their parents. If the child feels good when others fail, while their parents feel compassion, they will not be able to share in life. If their child takes advantage of others instead of helping them, how can the parents rejoice in their 'success'?
In this scenario, the parents would still love their son or daughter, but they wouldn't be able to fully engage with them in life. The conversations they have with one another cannot be wholesome or agreeable. They can't delight in their child's decisions and attitudes because they are destructive and selfish. Their love would be aimed at the child's redemption and freedom. They would want their son or daughter to know the love they have for them so they could stop striving, stop feeling shame, and stop using other people to gain personal status. There would be a dissonance in their relationship, a place where the parents can't fully delight in their child even though they love them. This is contrary to our culture that pushes for a full approval and acceptance of all behaviors, mentalities, belief systems, and lifestyles.
Their 2nd child on the other hand has learned to be like Mom and Dad. They love to learn, to discover, and to adventure. They have learned to be humble, that it is ok to make mistakes, and that their identity isn't found in what others think of them. This child has some different interests than their parents, but their heart is in the same place. The parents have a joy and relational freedom with this child that they don't have with the first. They can relate on the same level, share in joy, sorrow, and compassion in the same ways. They love their children equally, but because their second child has learned to be like them, to be more free, they are able to delight and support them in their decisions and in who they are.
"Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.”-John 14:21
Jesus isn't saying that God only loves some people. He is pointing to God's favor, His esteem, His delight. If I live my life in a place of comparison, striving to become important, and put others down in order to look more superior, God will not delight in my attitude or behavior. If I relate to God, giving thanks, and praying to Him from a place of inadequacy, pride, or shame, He will not affirm my choices or the place that my heart is in. The more I become like God, the more free I become, the more God is able to 'approve' of who I am. Our relationship with God changes, How He can interact with us, speak to us, and move in us changes as we become more like Him! His favor towards us begins to affect our hearts, minds, and lives!
This has been a confusing place for me in my relationships. Friends or family members will come to share their life with me, a story, a struggle, or a success. When they engage with me they are wanting my 'approval', recognition, or praise. I'm sure you've been there! If a friend comes to me because they are pumped they got to sleep with their girlfriend, that is not something I am going to be able to delight in with them, because I don't see that as a good thing. If they are raving about the victory they had in a sporting event, and that raving is rooted in the pride they feel in being 'better' than everyone else, I will not be able to fully rejoice with them. We are on different pages, we see things differently, and so we are not able to engage together fully. The friends I am closest to, the ones I am able to engage with freely, are those that are like me. Not that they necessarily like doing the same things I do, but that we share the same values, the same priorities, the same desire for life.
Scripture reveals that God is like this too. We aren't going to have the same relationship with God when we aren't 'like Him'. How can God deny Himself by becoming who He isn't? God cannot approve or delight in things He knows are destructive and damaging. He will not approve of our choices because He loves us, rather His love for us will call us up into what is good and true. His love in the face of our sin, stubbornness, or blindness will be purposed towards setting us free and opening our eyes to the truth. When we are aligned with God in our hearts and actions, His love for us will be one of joyful participation, of affirmation, joy, and delight. God loves us all equally, but His favor and delight rests on some more than others.
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