Controversial Fellowship

There is a problem in the way we, as Christians, live our lives.  Especially in relation to people we have fellowship with.  The church, the body of Christ, is supposed to be our community.  It is with these people, under God, that we are supposed to find our home here on Earth.  So what does that mean for our fellowship with unbelievers?  Where should (not do) they fit they within our friends group. The conclusion I have reached is not widely accepted.  In fact it is a very hard thing to accept, and even harder to act accordingly.  But the fact of the matter is, Christians should not gain their satisfaction, or feel fulfilled, by relationships with unbelievers. 


"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial?  What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?  What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God.  As God has said: 'I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.' 'Therefore come out from them and be separate, touch no unclean thing and I will receive you. I will be a father to you and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty (2 Cor. 6:14)."  

On a fundamental level, do we have anything in common with unbelievers?  Actions can be the same, feelings can be parallel, but the belief/implication behind them are different.  As Christians all of our actions, thoughts, and feelings should be revolve around Jesus Christ.  Everything has new meaning, and is more fulfilling.  A Christian will participate in an activity as a free human, while a non-Christian will participate within the constraints of their own perception.  Things are said that reflect an understanding that does not involve Jesus, actions are taken that often times only stem from selfish motives.  Unbelievers do not have the freedom that comes with understanding the sacrifice of Jesus Christ; therefore they are enslaved to expectation and preconceived notion.  When a non-believer does something nice for me, I am grateful and will say thank you; but if a believer does the same thing, there is much more depth in the action, and much more fulfillment. 

Immanuel Kant explains this in a similar way.  He uses the words Autonomy and Heteronomy to show the difference.  If one lives autonomicly, then their lives are ruled from inside themselves.  Their actions are made based upon something they see as right; and right for all people to do.  Someone who lives heteronomically is controlled by things outside themselves.  They are enslaved by expectation, assumption, success, and pleasure.  Autonomy is freedom, freedom from the things which dictate our actions and from the 'laws of nature'.  It follows that the only thing that is good, is a good will.  Only Jesus gives this freedom.  Christians have it, non Christians do not.  Therefore all actions, words, and thoughts reflect either enslavement or freedom. 

Christians, being free, provide a fulfilling community to develop (at least it is supposed to, and does when done correctly).  Differences and conflicts are regarded in a different light.  Anger and malice is limited and dealt with properly.  Confrontation occurs out of love, and allows healing for all parties involved.  Christians interact with one another with the understanding that we are all sinners, and therefore equally deserving of the same thing, death, and the same gift, life.  With the same foundation of freedom, which is given to us by God, a Christian community is free from the constraints of the World to have true fellowship. "Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires.  Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness.  For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace (Romans 6:12-14)."

Now before I go too far, I need to interject that we, as Christians, are called to BE friends to all people.  However the same isn't true for us.  All other people don't have to be our friends. We cannot expect to gain our 'social fix', if you will, from non Christians; because on an eternal level, they have nothing to give us.  Now we can learn and benefit from non Christians, but the true fulfillment exist only within the Body of Christ.

"My command is this; love each other as I have loved you.  Greater love has no one than this that he lay down his life for his friends.  You are my friends if you do what I command.  I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business.  Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you (John 16:11-15)."  So was Jesus friends with everyone? Yes.  Was everyone Jesus' friends? NO.  His friends were those who were like minded in regards to the Father. However it is good to remember that Jesus did spend time with those outside of his disciples group, but it was with his disciples that he was closest to home.


"He replied to him, "Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?" Pointing to his disciples, he said, "Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother (Matt. 12:46-50)."

So when we reflect upon our own community, we must ask if it is truly fulfilling our need of fellowship.  If they are not Christian, then they cannot fulfill this need.  If they are Christians then they are pushing us towards Christ, wanting us to seek God in everything we do. If not, then they have little to offer besides camaraderie and simple pleasures.  We have much to offer the world, because God has given us much. We are sent to lead the enslaved to freedom.  We want to expand the family of God and let others taste the same freedom from their own desires, and gain reprieve from the evil of those around them.  A function of a fulfilling community is one that pushes us to our Savior, no matter what the circumstances, all other factors are trivial in comparison. 

To some this seems like an impossible thing to do, or perhaps even an evil thing. For the truth of the matter is, most of us don't differentiate between our friends.  We think of them all equally and seem to find fulfillment with all of them.  If this is the case for you either your perspective of fulfillment is wrong, the 'Christian' friends you have aren’t actually Christian, or both.  I think the differences in our relationships with believers vs. unbelievers should actually be a product of our re-birth under God.  When we become a new creation we are no longer of this world. How than can we gain fulfillment from someone who is a part of this world, and is dictated by the ways of it?  We are the city on a hill, the salt of the Earth.  If the salt loses its saltiness, what is it good for?  Christians are supposed to stand out. Christians are separate, by the very fact of being Christian.  There is a different standard, a different form of life that exists within the community.  Again, what does light have to do with darkness?  When we become apart of the Kingdom of God, we come into the light, therefore we are no longer in darkness.

If we gain our communal fulfillment from a non-Christian group, something needs to be changed.  We do not need to leave that group but to find a church (body of Christ) to become a part of.  We are who we surround ourselves with, and sometimes it is necessary to break of 'friendships' if they are negatively effecting our walk with Christ. I was talking with my Uncle Paul about this topic, he said something along the lines of, "When I am with a group of non believers, not only am I uncomfortable but I feel like I have so much work to do." What value do our interactions with unbelievers have unless we are looking to help them see, understand, and accept Jesus Christ?  In my opinion absolutely none.  There is no good outside of God, there is nothing worth while outside of the Body of Christ.  Then our interactions with unbelievers should be just like my uncle said, work. It is good work, and it is beneficial for us as well.  The only worthwhile thing we can do for unbelievers is to help them find Jesus Christ.  This can be done through actions or words (I think one leads to the other). If we do things with unbelievers that don't pertain to God, that time is worthless; for we gain nothing from it, nor do they.

"When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.  Then he said to his disciples, 'The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.  Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field (Matthew 9:36-38).'"  When Jesus saw unbelievers he had pity on them and felt compassion for them.  Why is it that we don't usually feel the same? I think we are supposed to, and our interactions should reflect those feelings.  If we don't, then we need to come to a new understanding to align ourselves with what scripture says. 
This could be an easy concept to agree with, but a very hard one to live according to.  I would love to have some critique on this, whether or not you agree or not.  This is something I believe to be true, but if it is not, I don't want to believe it.  


"On my account you will be brought before governors and kings as witnesses to them and to the Gentiles.  All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm until the end will be saved (Matthew 10:18,22)."