We are sinful people, many times we forget this. We are inadequate, selfish, petty, unworthy, and unclean. We do not have the ability to understand things on our own, nor are we capable of doing good without the help of God. The fall of man separated us completely with God, rendered the Earth faulty, and filled our lives with pain and turmoil.
Romans 3:10-20 says, "As it is written: 'There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one. Their throats are open graves; their tongues practice deceit. The poison of vipers is on their lips. Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness. Their feet are swift to shed blood; ruin and misery make their ways and the way of peace they do not know. There is no fear of God before their eyes.' Now we know that whatever the law says, it says to those who are under the law, so that every mouth may be silenced and the whole world held accountable to God. Therefore no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of faith."
There are two parts to having and pursuing a relationship with God. First we need continually understand how lost we truly are, how incomplete, how selfishly confused. This is a painful process but a necessary one. When speaking of brokenness in regards to Christ we often say we must be broken. I believe we just need to realize our brokenness. If we live in the world, try and fulfill our own selfish ambitions, take control over our lives and other people, we already are broken even if we don't realize this. We are not living the way we are supposed to be, there are negative consequences, and we are not experiencing abundant life. Sometimes it is hard for us to realize this, it has taken me a long time to realize my own brokenness and I'm sure will be hard for me to continue believing it. We become blinded to reality by the lies of success, of false truth, and the hope that we actually can make something of ourselves. We want to think we can change the world, do good to others, discover our own truth; this is all a reflection of our desire to own ourselves. It says in scripture "For the wages of sin is death." We have all sinned, therefore we deserve to die, we deserve to go to hell. We are broken people who have no control, no power, and no intrinsic benevolence. We rarely think of ourselves in this manner and even more rarely act as such. But to truly understand the grace of God and find our identity in him I believe this is necessary. This sounds very depressing and pessimistic but feeling completely inadequate is the only way to have full reliance on God; and from my experience the only way to really have a repentent heart.
Besides continually realizing our natural depravity we need to continually realize how great God is. God is everything we are not and then some! He is the creator of heaven and Earth, the author and perfecter of our faith, the alpha and omega, the beginning and the end. When we realize that God is everything we are not, and at the same time know that he loves us and sent his son to give us eternal life, we can know that we are complete in him. The only thing that connects us in our depravity to God's greatness is Jesus Christ.
I don't think either of these aspects could ever be realized to their full extent. We can always learn more about how selfish and conceited we are without ever reaching the full extent of our depravity. In the same sense we are never going to fully understand how great God really is. I think it is also safe to say that we are never going to be able to always seek after these things perfectly either. We will sometimes think we are great, and sometimes limit God's power. Of course this is just more of our selfishness coming into play. However by realizing where we are in relation to God, and where Jesus Christ is to us, miraculous changes can happen. We understand ourselves and other people better, it is easier to empathize and to feel for other people without holding judgment.
Also upon the realization that all things are found in God, scripture has new relevance. To not rely on our own understanding we must acknowledge God in all things, ie using the truth that is in the Bible. On top of it all, being able to understand sacrifice (see previous blog)helps us understand what it means to love selflessly and unconditionally.
I write about his only because I am realizing more and more how selfish I am. Not only that but I am also learning how my vainness negatively affects my life and the life of others. I am slowly coming to face with reality. I have also recently felt broken for the first time in my life. God has given me many gifts and talents I am extremely thankful for them but the way I have tended to utilize them have been for my own gain and to bring myself glory. This self love has had many negative consequences in my relationships and in my life in general. But along with everything else it is a learning process; and God has been teaching me many things in my brokenness. I now know the feeling of inadequacy, helplessness, yearning, and desperation of my reality. I also have learned a little about the love, joy, peace, and fulfillment of God. It has really transformed my perspective of myself, other people, life, and God. I hope and pray that God continues to take more of my self away so that he can fill me with his tender care, mercy, and grace.
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